A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high bridge, about to jump off. An old homeless guy who was wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
She screamed, "NO! Bug off you filthy old bastard!"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay then, I'll just go and wait at the BOTTOM."
With sufficient thrust pigs fly just fine
Object lesson: Suicide counseling really does work!