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IroquoisArcher

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Reply with quote  #1 

 
    
A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, 
"that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.."
     
    
~~~~~~~~~~

An older gentleman was  
on the operating table
awaiting surgery
and he insisted that his son,a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia,
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son;
do your best,
and just remember,
if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me,
your mother
is going to come and
live with you and your wife...."
   
(I LOVE IT!)
   
~~~~~~~~~~
     
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point 
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love
to hear them say "you don't look that old."
      
    ~~~~~~~~~~
The older we get, 
the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.
    
    ~~~~~~~~~~     
Some people 
try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know why
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.
      
    ~~~~~~~~~~     
    When you are dissatisfied  
and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.
      
    ~~~~~~~~~~  
One of the many things 
no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change
from being young.
~~~~~~~~~~
     
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
      
~~~~~~~~~~      
First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when
you forget to pull it down.
      
~~~~~~~~~~
    
Two guys, one old, one young,
are pushing their carts around-  WalMart
 
when they collide.
 
The old guy says to the young guy,
"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where

I was going." 
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her...
what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall,
with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,
long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, doesn't matter,
  
let's look for yours."
 
(ADORABLE)
  
~~~~~~~~~~ 
(And this final one especially for me,)
"Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder 
and Your hand over my mouth!"
   
    

Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . ..

stick around awhile . . .it will!


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When you are in a difficult situation and wonder where God is; remember the Teacher is always quiet during the test.
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buckhuntertrailcam

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Reply with quote  #2 
Very good, had to think about a few maybe l would have been quicker if older?
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zaj56

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Reply with quote  #3 
LMAO...good stuff Jon!    By the way...any hummers yet?
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IroquoisArcher

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Reply with quote  #4 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zaj56
LMAO...good stuff Jon!    By the way...any hummers yet?

Only have seen 1 maybe 2. Haven't even set a cam up yet.
Was doing some geocaching down in 4 mile gourge a month ago. Now there is nothing around except pines and hardwods and the creek there and fairly steep sides and deep and up top nothing but hardwoods for a ways. So almost to the creek and stop for a breather and suddenly a male hummingbird is zipping right behind me. Held out my hand and he almost touched it as he hovered beside it for 10 sec. or so, trying to get him to land. Then he zips behind my shoulder and must have been inches from my ear for another 10 sec. or so. What one was doing there totally baffles me.

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When you are in a difficult situation and wonder where God is; remember the Teacher is always quiet during the test.
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Vonfoust

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Reply with quote  #5 
Nice ones Jon!  I have at least 3 different hummers around.  Watched 2 finally get settled on teh feeder, another came in and chaos broke loose.  Fun little buggers.
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When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
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buckhuntertrailcam

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Reply with quote  #6 
How about posting up some hummer pictures? I will never see any here in Australia....lol
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Vonfoust

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Reply with quote  #7 
Jon's got em.  I never have gotten good pics of hummers. 
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When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
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